Trying Again...

Time to get back on the saddle.

I took an ovulation test this morning and it was positive.

Unfortunately, I'm not so positive, about a few things:

a) I'm still a little scared to get pregnant, because I still don't have health insurance. But I'm working on it. I'm at a temp job and am hopeful that they will bring me on as a permanent employee.

b) Even though the test strip says I'm ovulating, I don't know if there are any viable eggs ready for the sperm right now. For some weird reason, I had miettelshmerz (I know I must have spelled that wrong) DURING my period (which was very heavy), about 2 weeks ago. And the pain was pretty strong, so I'm guessing I released some pretty good eggs... only it was way too early. I think this must be a symptom of still getting over a miscarriage. My body is still out of whack. I haven't experienced any ovulation pain (like I did with the cycle before I got pregnant) so I am guessing that my system may still be a little "off" and it might be several months before things are back to normal. I'm not sure what it is that causes the ovulation test strips to darken, but... the cynical side of me says this could be a false alarm.

c) The quality of my eggs may not be as great as they could be. I've probably been drinking a little too much caffeine this month (just decaf mochas at work, and a coke here and there...but still...). And I'm not taking my visalus vitamins as regularly as I should be. I have been pretty decent about taking coenzyme q10, vitamin d and pycnogenol. But the problem is, the vi-paks don't fit into my pill minder, and then I forget to take them - or I can't take the day paks because I forgot to grab them, rushing out the house in the morning, on my way to work. I'd say I've been taking the Visalus about 70% of the times when i should (the ones I tend to forget are the night packs). But, hopefully, I would think the amount of Visalus pills and shakes I have taken consumed over the last 6 month has helped to improve my overall health and egg quality.

As for the hubby... I think even he was getting a little forgetful about taking his vitamins in the last month. He's usually pretty good about the Visalus, because it's easy and the box is right in his bathroom, and he's a man of method. My hubby is the most methodical dude ever. But if I don't fill up his "pill minder" in the bathroom with the vitamin D and CoEnzyme Q10, he just won't take it. I'm not going to complain about this much because I am just so grateful that he's willing to take them at ALL!!!

So, regardless of whether I'm ovulating or not, we had some really great sex this morning. TWICE. And it's been over a week, so my DH had a good amount of sperm built up. I was really happily surprised to see he was willing to go a second time. I thought he was joking when he suggested it, but nope! I was seriously impressed!

I had decided to take the day off because I was planning to go to an animal rights protest (my first day I've ever requested off work). My boss was really cool with it. But I decided not to go because I couldn't get anyone else on board and it would be a 4 hour drive. I decided to take the day off anyway since I was seriously sleep deprived and had a ton of housecleaning, but then I got caught up on my laptop and haven't gotten out of bed, and it's already 5:30 pm (I woke up at 12:30 pm!). I'd normally be irritated with myself, but I look at it overall like a good thing.

I remember that when I did get pregnant in January, I stayed in bed for a LONG time, just resting and letting the sperm do their thing. I went and bought more Astroglide Natural yesterday, and when I was applying it with my fingers, I could tell my cervix was definitely in the "open" position... it's just a question of, is there a viable egg up there to fertilize? I guess I'll find out. I didn't even use the type of astroglide with Pre-seed in it, because a) I was too tired to hunt down an applicator tube or instead cup and insert it, and b) it seemed like I had a decent amount of lubrication without it. Usually that's NOT the case... especially if we are in the doggie position. But I didn't need any extra this morning. And I also had an orgasm, so things were pretty wet down there.

Again... I am not really expecting to get pregnant this cycle, because I just haven't been doing all the things I was doing the first time I got pregnant. I'm not excercising, not avoiding caffeine entirely (I'd say I consume about 300-500 mg per week), not taking Fertil Plus regularly (I've taken about 5 pills total in this last month) - and I figure I probably will need that stuff in order to get pregnant again.

But it can't hurt to try, right?

The thing that makes me want to go for it now, is... I'm embarrassed to admit this, knowing how stupid it will sound.... but if I got pregnant in this cycle, then my baby would be born in the Year of the Dragon. Which just sounds SO much cooler than the Year Of The Snake, which is the next cycle. I know, pretty silly, right? But I can't help it. My good friend, whom I'll call Jessie, brought it up when I told her I was pregnant. She said, "Oh, the baby will be born in the year of the dragon!" and it sounded so cool... and I was really psyched about it. It doesn't help that I gotta keep seeing pictures of Zena and her damn Dragon Baby all over Facebook!

To console myself, I looked up celebrities born in the Year of the Snake, and the people seem exceptionally beautiful: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FejIm4y7DAE. So there! Take that, Zena and your little Dragon baby (you watch now that I've said that, she's gonna have a THIRD baby in the year of the snake).

I'll be happy with any baby, born in any year. Dragon, snake, or whatever comes after it.

That is all for now.

Is it just me or is everybody else pregnant right now?

I just saw a headline on AOL, that Megan Fox is pregnant.  And when I clicked on the article, all these other links about pregnant celebrities popped up under the article.

I'm wondering if this is a normal thing that happens when you've had a miscarriage. It suddenly seems like EVERYONE ELSE is having a normal, healthy pregnancy! As if I don't have enough real life friends with babies, whose pictures I see daily on Facebook. Oh and I forgot to mention, all the baby photos that are being posted on our online "employee social network" at work. There are only about 100 employees at work, but it seems like a good 10 percent of them have newborns!

I am very happy for Drew Barrymore - though I'm also pretty envious. We would have been pregnant at the same time, if I was able to stay pregnant. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be. It's ok though - I'm planning to try again! And I can't wait to see pics of Drew Barrymore and her baby, because I know she's going to make a fantastic mother!

Can CoEnzyme Q10 help you get pregnant?

Found an interesting article on CoEnzyme Q10, and how it can help some women get pregnant.

The part of the article most worth noting:

"Half the mice in the experiment got a placebo, while half got coenzyme Q10; the animals that got the vitamin produced more egg follicles, and more and healthier eggs."

On the downside, the mice were treated with the supplement for the equivalent of a decade in human years.

Still, you never know...

http://www.conceiveonline.com/articles/could-coenzyme-q10-help-you-get-pregnant

CoEnzyme Q10 and Fertility

I've been reading a lot about fertility and the positive effects of taking CoEnzyme Q10, prior to getting pregnant. Pretty amazing stuff!!!

Not only does it help a man produce "better" sperm, but it also seems to improve egg quality in women, and helps them develop more follicles.

Here is an article I found... I'm copying and pasting it here, but you can find the original on THIS PAGE.

Coenzyme Q10: Fertility Energy for Older Eggs and Sperm

by Rachel Lehmann-Haupt, Dec. 28, 2009

For years, doctors have been proscribing Co-enzyme Q10, a supplement that helps to better produce energy in the mitochondria of cells, to patients with congestive heart failure and diabetes, and athletes have been taking it to improve their performance. Ninety-five percent of the body’s energy is generated with Co-enzyme Q10, and therefore, the organs with the highest energy requirements like the heart and the liver have the highest concentrations. Now some fertility doctors believe that the supplement may also improve female and male fertility.

Dr. Yaakov Bentov, an Assistant Professor at the University of Toronto's Center for Advanced Reproductive Technology, says that as a woman ages, her eggs become less efficient during fertilization because the chromosomes don’t replicate as well. “The egg needs to complete a demanding process and often when a women reaches her late 30s and early 40s, there is not enough energy in the cells,” he says.

In a 2009 study published in The Journal of Fertility and Sterility, Bentov and his colleagues found that taking up to 600 milligrams a day of Co-enzyme Q10 -- which can be purchased at any drug store -- actually helped to improve egg quality in older women and improved fertilization rates.

“It may improve the quality of eggs by correcting their energy which improves the division of chromosome during fertilization,” Bentov claims.

Studies have also found that Co-enzyme Q10 may also improve male infertility. A July 2009 study in The Journal of Urology looked at 212 infertile men who took the 300 mg of the supplement for 30 weeks, and found that it improved both sperm density and motility.

You may want to ask your doctor what she thinks about this supplement.

Read more about "rejuvenating" aging eggs in Fertility Authority's Aging Eggs: Exciting Research Is on the Horizon article

Here is the other article I read:

http://www.conceiveonline.com/articles/could-coenzyme-q10-help-you-get-pregnant

Loved this part:  "Half the mice in the experiment got a placebo, while half got coenzyme Q10; the animals that got the vitamin produced more egg follicles, and more and healthier eggs."

I should probably mention that the mice were treated with the supplement for the equivalent of a decade in human years.  Still, you never know...

Whatever the case, I plan to be taking CoQ10 regularly for the next year!

EB

UPDATE 10/11/14:  I just wanted to make a comment that although I have "sort of" taken a break from TTC, I have been taking this Coenzyme Q10 (300-400 mg/day)  for the last few months (I started, then stopped for about a year) to improve the quality of my eggs, so that if and when I am ready to TTC again, I will be in better shape. If I "actively" try to conceive I will increase the Coenzyme Q10 to 600mg/day.

I've also been taking this brand of  Astragalus (6 pills a day), which is known in Chinese medicine to reverse the effects of aging. And I have definitely noticed a difference. I am producing a lot more cervical mucus (to the point where sometimes it feels like I peed in my pants), my skin texture is a lot clearer, I am looking younger, and I can feel when I am ovulating (I get pangs in my ovaries, which had stopped for a while since for the last year I've taken a serious break from TTC).

I have also been using a PEMF Machine, which is shown to help improve the energy production from your mitochondria, which can improve the quality of your eggs. You can read more about that by clicking HERE. Since I've been doing these three things I've noticed an improvement in my menstrual cycle. It's longer and my blood looks better (more of the bright red kind).



Another thing I noticed is, my hair gets oily a lot faster. I used to be able to go a whole week without washing it, and now that I have added these 2 supplements, my hair actually starts to smell after 2 days! I wouldn't necessarily say this is a great side effect, but it makes me feel good because oily hair is something I experienced when taking DHEA, which is known to produce better quality eggs. If my body is going back to doing things it used to do when it was younger... I'm all for it. I used to have really oily hair in my 20's... couldn't go more than 2 days without washing it.

I did a little more research on Coenzyme Q10 and fertility, and discovered this discussion online.. it seems that there are a good amount of women out there, who feel that it helped them:

These are the brands I've been taking:
Coenzyme Q10
Astragalus

Have a great day!

EB

Using Progesterone cream to maintain a pregnancy

I couldn't help wonder if I had been experiencing problems with progesterone, since, when I first found out I was pregnant, I took my temperature and there seemed to be no rise. I used two different thermometers. Apparently the pregnancy was strong enough so that I was able to make it to 7 weeks and show an HCG level of 114,000. But now I can't help wondering if there is something I might be able to do differently the next time, to increase my chances of carrying a baby to full term.

For anyone who is considering using progesterone cream, I went through the amazon.com reviews for "ProGest" cream and copied and pasted all the positive reviews that were pregnancy related. There were 19 pages of reviews (mostly from women going through menopause) so I really had to dig through them, but here they are (listed at the bottom of this post).

Also I would like to note that there is some debate about whether Progesterone cream causes Cancer (for the record, I don't believe it does, and you will see why if you keep reading). But I live in California, where Proposition 65 mandates that ALL companies selling a product with ANY type of "known carcinogen" MUST make the public aware of these facts, often with big warning signs on packaging and in stores. When you live in California, you see these signs everywhere. They're at every gas station, and even the STARBUCKS here have to put the signs up (see below a picture from Starbucks... nice way to enjoy your coffee!).  Because of this, you can't even buy progesterone cream on Early-Pregnancy-Tests.com, or GNC stores, if you live in California! 

That being said, I did some research about Pro-Gest, because it has the Prop 65 warning on the box, saying it contains a known carcinogen. It was part of the reason I decided not to purchase it recently (the other reason is that it cost 37.99 for a 4 oz. tube at the health food store, versus $21.96 through Amazon.com... and you can get free shipping if you buy over $25.)

I found a great article that disputes the carcinogenic qualities of progesterone cream. You can read it here: http://www.virginiahopkinstestkits.com/pgcreamlabelwarning.html

Here are some very notable parts of the article:

"California’s Safe Drinking Water and Toxic Enforcement Act of 1986, also known as Proposition 65 (“Prop 65”), contains a list of over 800 chemicals identified as carcinogens. Prop 65 mandates that warnings be given to consumers of products that contain certain chemicals identified by the state of California as hazardous. Progesterone was added to this list in 1988 based on summaries from the National Toxicology Program (NTP) and the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC). Both of these programs only evaluated progesterone given to animals already predisposed to cancer. Progesterone was then given to these high risk animals in very high doses. Also, these animals were given known carcinogens in addition to the high doses of progesterone.

The NTP’s Tenth Report on Carcinogens even acknowledges that “no adequate human studies of the relationship between exposure to progesterone and human cancer have been reported.” Progesterone is a naturally occurring hormone produced by all humans, unlike most of the chemicals listed in Prop 65, which are not naturally present in humans.”

I’d like to add that most of the research originally cited by the NTP to justify adding progesterone to the list of carcinogens was largely based on synthetic progestins—apparently they didn’t realize that progesterone and progestins are very different. Progesterone cream companies that don’t add this label in California become vulnerable to lawsuits from a particularly nasty group of attorneys who are using Prop 65 to make millions of dollars. Meanwhile, there are 799 other chemicals out there, most of which probably do pose a risk of cancer."

I am really relieved to have found this article, because I really do think Progesterone cream could help me with my next pregnancy, and don't want to be worried the whole time, that I'm exposing myself to a known carcinogen. It's true... maybe there just isn't enough research done and maybe it's not as safe as people think... but after reading the article, I feel a lot more assured that it probably is a lot safer than the warning label implies.

Here are the positive reviews (pregnancy related) for ProGest, listed on Amazon.com (you can always go to Amazon.com and see them for yourself):

4.0 out of 5 stars It works for hormone balance, February 12, 2012

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant 6years and I happened to come across some TTC blogs where people mentioned their doctors perscribing them progesterone to balance hormones. I decided to find out if I could buy it otc and came across this cream on amazon. I must say that I love how calm it makes me feel. I mistakenly used it one day before my ovulation and it spiked my temperature, which lets me know that it does work. The next day I didn't use it and my temp returned to normal. I haven't gotten pregnant yet but my cycles have returned to a consistant schedule starting on the same day each month. I can't say that my cramping is any less as I do still take aleve upon my cycle return. However. I've only been using it for 2 months, so hopefully we will see the results we're looking for soon:)

5.0 out of 5 stars I'm PREGNANT!, February 8, 2012

My husband and I were trying to get pregnant for 9 months. We were having problems, so I did tons of research and I was trying everything! I realized we probably weren't getting pregnant because I probably was producing too much estrogen because I was obese. I bought this thinking, if all else fails, it could help with my pms symptoms right? Well I started using it right after my period in December, ovulated and conceived Dec 14... I am now about 10 weeks pregnant! I'm not saying that if you use this you will get pregnant, but it did help me because of my situation. So good luck!

5.0 out of 5 stars HELPED ME CONCEIVE AFTER ONLY ONE MONTH, October 2, 2011

i BEGAN USING THIS PRODUCT AFTER 3 MISCARRIGES, i READ A FEW ARTICLES SUGGESTING PROGESTERONE DEFIENCY BECAUSE I HAD AT LEAST SIX OF THE SYMPTOMS I READ ABOUT. I STARTED USING THE CREAM FROM OVULATION DAY ON. wHEN MY PERIOD DIDN'T COME I CONTINUED TO USE THE CREAM TWICE A DAY UNTIL MY GYN APPOINTMENT. WHEN I TOLD MY DOCTOR ABOUT THE CREAM SHE TOLD ME TO CONTINUE TO USE IT AND GAVE ME A SCRIPT FOR PROGESTERONE SUPPOSITORIES TO USE ALSO. I STOPPED USING BOTH AFTER MY 12TH WEEK OF PREGNANCY. I HAVE NO DOUBT THET THIS PRODUCT HELPED ME NOT ONLY CONCEIVE, BUT ALSO PREVENTED A MISCARRIAGE. MY BABY IS NOW A HEALTHY, HAPPY 3 MONTH OLD BOY AND I HAVE THIS PRODUCT TO THANK.

5.0 out of 5 stars It helped me get pregnant, August 5, 2011

I tried to get pregnant for three years. I tried everything. I even went to a fertility doctor for a month of monitoring and diagnosis, but they found nothing. I only got the idea to take progesterone supplements because the doctor gave them to all patients after they ovulated. They didn't even bother to test me to see if I needed it. The dosage at the office was much higher. I couldnt afford to see the doctor long term. So a few months later, I started using this cream. The very first month I used it, I finally did get pregnant. My OBGYN did a blood test and found that my progesterone levels were still too low even with using this cream. So they switched me to a prescription. Still, my daughter wouldn't be here if I didn't try it. I didn't have any side effects. I would recommend this product to anyone trying to get pregnant with a short luteal phase in their menstrual cycle.

5.0 out of 5 stars Worked great for me, June 5, 2011

I started using progesterone cream as a way to lengthen my luteal phase. Worked like a charm on the first cycle I began using it....got pregnant right away after trying for 6+ months. I saw no side effects and will continue to use throughout my pregnancy. I have also tried prometrium pills and I don't think they worked as well.

5.0 out of 5 stars Works well for proesterone related fertility problems!, November 5, 2010

When I started getting my progesterone levels checked, I was at 0.12 instead of 10 or above like the doctor wanted me at. I went on Clomid and it only brought my levels up to 0.4. I purchased this product after reading all of the reviews and started using 200 mg of prrogesterone a day. (Yes, this is well above the recommended levels but it is the amount that I read many fertility patients with low numbers like mine were taking.) After using 200mg of this product for 1 month, my progeterone level was 11.86! Which means that I actually ovulated after using this cream. I am definately happy with the results I am having with the cream and prefer using it over the pills that the doctor had prescribed.

5.0 out of 5 stars Miracle cream!, April 27, 2010

I used it due to a diagnosed Luteal Phase defect and it worked!! I got pregnant after the first time using it! (from Ovulation day on) It sustained my pregnancy long enough to get on prescription progesterone. AWESOME product!!

Whatever the case, I am DEFINITELY going to be using this stuff if I ever (knock wood) get pregnant again!!!

EB

PS, Please PLAN AHEAD to get it online.  I just tried to order it but not only did the price go up about $4, but the place that carries it on Amazon says it could take 5 days of extra processing, so I feel like I'd have to brace myself to wait two weeks for it arrive.

This is what I was quoted, to buy it in the stores: 

GNC: Note: their online store will not ship to CA either. I checked a local store just to see if maybe it was in stock and the guy said it was sold out. 
Whole Foods charges $27.99 for 4 oz of Source Naturals brand, $30.99 for 2 oz of Emerita brand.
Called another health food store that charges $15.49 for 4oz Source Naturals, $28.99 for 2 oz of Emerita brand, or 4 oz. $43.99, Life Flow brand is 2 oz for $24.95, 4 oz. for $34.95.  

I am tempted to try the Source Naturals brand since I'm a big fan of their Wellness Formula and they seem like a really good company. I will probably get their brand at Whole Foods this weekend. 

Update: I checked through the 120 Amazon reviews for the Source naturals brand to see if it helped someone conceive, but couldn't find any posts that said it helped someone with that particular thing : (.  So, I am tempted to just throw down the extra money and get the Emerita brand. Bummer because I really love the company Source Naturals, but if I'm 44 I don't have time to experiment with different products, I need to just get the one I think is most likely to work. 

Last Interesting factoids about progesterone cream: I just read today that it can help women who have endometriosis.  


You can find a lot more info on google, regarding how progesterone cream can help you with endometriosis.  Here is a great video by Heather Rodriguez, which explains how progesterone cream can help. I loved this video: 

 



Progesterone cream also can help men who have BPH (urinary retention  
problems).  Check out this review from this guy who had BPH as an issue: 

OK, most men will eventually have difficulty urinating at some point in their lives due to BPH. The thing you don't often read is that BPH is worsened by the conversion of Testosterone to Estradiol in a process called Aromatase. Apparently, progesterone is an effective aromatase inhibitor, and since I have been using 1/8 tsp of this daily, the flow, which was a trickle, is a healthy stream again! I am on my third jar and will probably use this for the rest of my life...

Of course, this has nothing to do with fertility, but I still had to share. If my hubby ever gets this issue, I want to remember this! : )

Good luck to everyone who is TTC and using progesterone cream!

EB

The Painful Reality of Miscarriage

Ever since we were little girls, we all seemed to know how painful childbirth would be. Whether it was from overhearing conversations between older women, or having your mother hang it over your head - how hard she had to work to bring you into the world, or seeing a woman scream and moan in a TV drama or comedy where there is a birth scene. Plus, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that a 6-10 pound baby, squeezing its way out of a hole that was barely big enough for a penis when you were a virgin... has got to hurt.

But for some reason, nobody ever really talks about how physically painful a miscarriage is. Obviously, it's emotionally painful. But none of my friends ever mentioned how physically painful the whole thing is. And my doctor at Planned Parenthood, who knew I was going to have a miscarriage, didn't bother to warn me that I'd better either stock up on a Costco-sized bottle of Motrin, or get my hands on some Vicodin to prepare. I had NO IDEA.

I guess I was somehow thinking that, since my baby was only 7 weeks old when it's heart stopped beating, and had grown only to the size of a kidney bean, then there wouldn't be a lot of pain involved. I mean, a penis is a lot bigger than that, so if that can go in and out of a vagina, then something as small as a kidney bean wouldn't hurt when it's coming out, right? Somehow I managed to forget about the fact that menstrual cramps are super painful when just a tiny little clot comes out. I didn't really think about the fact that, it's not the kidney bean sized embryo that hurts when it comes out. It's the intensely painful CRAMPING that goes along with it.

A girl friend of mine, who is just a year younger than me (42), had a miscarriage just a few months ago. During the lunch when I told her I was pregnant, she told me about her experience with her miscarriage. She had taken the drug Misoprostol, and said if for some reason I ever had a miscarriage, "DON'T EVER TAKE IT! It's soooo painful." Little did either of us realize... it's not the Misoprostol that causes the pain... it's the miscarriage itself.... and all the cramping that goes with it. 

So, when I found out I was going to have a miscarriage and my doctor asked me if I wanted to take the drug, I said no. She really, really wanted me to take it OR go and have an aspiration (abortion) or D & C to remove the fetus. But I didn't like the idea of doing that for sooo many reasons. I didn't like the idea of sucking my poor baby out of me with a vacuum. I didn't like the idea of getting a needle injected into my uterus. I didn't like the fact that a D&C could cause scarring (I know, the chances are minimal, but I still didn't like it). And to make matters worse, it would cost $400! So I decided to wait.

It had been over two weeks since I found out my baby had no heartbeat, and I wasn't showing any signs of spotting. I was starting to wonder if maybe there was a chance that the doctors could have made a mistake. I looked up all kinds of miracle stories on the net, hoping, during those two weeks, that maybe I cold have a miracle story of my own. I refused to give up. Maybe my baby's heartbeat was not able to be detected. I spent all day on the net, looking up stories that could give me hope that maybe I could carry this pregnancy to term.

But the doctors continued to report my declining HCG levels. At first they were 114,000. The next one was 84,000. And the one after that was 34,000. A miscarriage seemed inevitable.

Sure enough, on Sunday, March 4th, I saw my first miniscule droplet of blood. It was so tiny, it was smaller than a poppy seed, and it smeared into a dark red line when i smudged it. Looking back at it, it was like the first drop of rain before a hurricane. I wish I had known, what I know now.

At about 3:00 in the morning on Monday March 5th, I woke up with terrible cramps, and had to ask my husband to bring me some Motrin. I was about twice as bad as any menstrual cramps I'd ever felt, and I couldn't sleep. At the time, I thought, this is horrible! It was the worst pain I'd ever felt, up to that point, and I couldn't imagine it ever getting any worse. Little did I know what was in store for me the next day...

I actually woke up feeling good, and luckily the pain was gone, thanks to all the motrin. I was so relieved not to be in pain anymore, that somehow I managed to forget how bad it was (how it is that women can actually forget enormous amounts of pain is something that will always baffle me). So, I didn't bother to take any more pain medication. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!

I felt almost no pain the next day.... until about 3:00 in the afternoon, when the cramping came back very suddenly. And it came back with a VENGEANCE. It was horrible. The worst pain I have ever felt in my life... about 5 times worse than the worst period cramps I've ever had. I called Planned Parenthood and practically begged them to let me come down and get some Vicodin. But they had already closed for the day and I was only able to talk to a nurse on the phone. I was in tears, moaning and groaning and sobbing. I knew the nurse felt bad. I didn't have a fever, or feel faint, so she told me to just watch out for those things and if they happened, I should go to the emergency room.

What made the situation exponentially bad, is that I was in SO much pain, I began vomiting, and therefore, I couldn't keep any Motrin down, long enough for it to take effect. Every time I swallowed it, I'd barf it up within five minutes. There are orange stains on my bathroom rug, from me barfing up Motrin. Even when I chewed it up, I couldn't keep it down long enough for my body to absorb it. Nothing was working. The nurse on the phone told me I could take 3 or 4 at a time, after she could hear how much pain I was in, and she said I could do this every 4 hours. But it doesn't matter much when you keep puking it up!!!

My husband had to work late that day and I had been in so much pain I hadn't checked my email or text messages to see he was coming home late. I ended up calling him, crying, "Where ARE you?!?!!?!? I'm in so much pain, I need your help!!!" I couldn't even feed the cats. I couldn't answer the phone. I was a total basketcase.

I kept moving from the toilet to the bed to the toilet to the bed. I tried taking a bath but it didn't help, and as Murphy's law would have it, it seemed to be the ONE time I can ever remember that our tub ran out of hot water. My poor husband looked so frustrated and helpless, like he wanted to do something to ease my pain but couldn't think of anything that would help. It was truly like being in labor.

As I found out later, from researching on the internet: The labor pains of a miscarriage can be just as bad, if not worse, than regular labor contractions when you deliver a baby at full term. WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY FREAKING TELL ME THIS AHEAD OF TIME?!?!?!?!??? With "regular" childbirth, there are one minute breaks in between contractions. But with a miscarriage, guess what. There ARE NO BREAKS! It's just constant contractions!!!

I tried pacing around the house, then jogging in place, then jogging around the block, rubbing my stomach, using a heating pad and heated blanket, but nothing worked A ton of blood came out. Big clots came out. But little did I know it would take another 3 days to pass the gestational sac.

Finally, at around 11:00 PM, I took 2 Alleve tablets and somehow managed to keep them down. I fell asleep (or passed out) and woke up at about 1 AM. My husband was still up, and we watched tv for a few hours. I took 3 more Motrin tablets before I went to bed, and vowed NEVER to forget to take them again!!! And I didn't!!!

I bled quite a bit for the next few days, and the following Thursday, I finally passed the gestational sac (I could feel this big blob slide out... it wasn't painful, but it could also be because I was doped up on Motrin for the last 4 days). It happened just seconds before I had to get up to answer the doorbell because some guy from Craigslist was coming over to look at a car I was selling. So, I left everything in the toilet and decided to fish it out later and look at it when I was done with the test drive.

I took photos of it (I know, that sounds gross but I wanted to show it to my doctor to confirm that it was, indeed, the gestational sac). I was pretty sure that was it. My girl friend had described it as this big, round, disgusting grey blob. I felt bad thinking of it that way... after all, it was like the little house for my baby. I searched inside the sac, to see if I could find the embryo, but for some reason I couldn't find it. I felt around inside the toilet (it was so dark with blood I couldn't see anything) but still couldn't find it. I am thinking it may have been absorbed by the gestational sac and maybe I just didn't see it (after all, the last ultrasound pics I saw made it look like it was getting a lot smaller, and it did look like the tissue was being absorbed into the sac).

I wasn't sure what to do with the sac (and the possible embryo that was in it). I just couldn't imagine flushing it down the toilet like a piece of crap, when it was literally a little piece of me and my husband. It had a life. We even gave it a name. So, I buried it in the back yard, under an apple tree. I had reservations about doing this, but got over it. I remembered that a friend of mine, who had a sister in law who grew pot, had said she actually saves her menstrual blood and uses it in the soil for her plants and they grow really strong and healthy and have good energy. So at the very least, I like to think of it as another part of the circle of life. There's always something good that happens with something bad, right? If my baby didn't get to live a full life here on earth, then by golly, I want to know it was able to bless and bring positive energy to the apple tree outside.

Life (even if it's short lived) creating life . That's what it's all about.

For anyone reading this, who has ever been through a miscarriage... I am sorry for your loss. I never understood, or could have true empathy for, what it was really like to go through this, until it happened to me.  For anyone else reading this, who has never been through a miscarriage.... I hope it never does  (I've heard that progesterone cream can  help).  If you ever have to go through this... be sure to stock up on Motrin!!!

EB

BEWARE OF EXCESSIVE VITAMIN C Intake During Pregnancy!!!

I have some very sad news to share. I think I may have terminated my own pregnancy due to an overdose of Vitamin C. Please note that I'm NOT saying "don't take Vitamin C during pregnancy!" I believe it is very important to make sure you are getting enough Vitamin C... it's a critical vitamin that can actually help you stay healthy during your pregnancy... just don't take a huge MEGA DOSE like I did.

For years, I have been taking vitamin C in high doses (around 5,000-6,000 mg), on occasion, to heal wounds. Whenever I bite my lip by accident, a very large dose of Vitamin C almost always heals the wound up like magic. I have long been a big believer in the magical powers of Vitamin C.... so it never occurred to me that it could be so dangerous during pregnancy.

On February 15th, during my 7th week of pregnancy, I went in to a medical center for a scheduled ultrasound, but decided not to do it after all because I don't currently have health insurance, the cost was $800 (and just $120 through Planned Parenthood). But unfortunately, while I was at the Medical Center, I must have picked up some kind of a bug or germs, because by the time I got home, my throat was feeling very raw and slightly sore, and I knew I was getting sick, as this is almost always the first sign of a cold for me.

I was very worried about being sick while pregnant. So, I went to my medicine cabinet and pulled out my bottle of Wellness Formula, which works like a miracle for me, in terms of stopping a cold in its tracks. But unfortunately, it says clearly on the bottle that you shouldn't take it when you're pregnant. I felt that I needed to take something in order to keep from getting sick (I did not realize at the time, that one of the "gifts of pregnancy" is a very strong immune system!). So, I took about 5,000 or 6,000 mg of Vitamin C. I assumed this would be considered safe, since they say it's water soluble and your body just flushes out what it can't use.

Little did I know, Vitamin C is actually used as an abortifacent!!!

You can read a warning about Vitamin C during pregnancy, here (something I wish I had seen a MONTH ago!!!) http://lmg.letmeget.net/blog/vitamin-c-overdose-pregnancy-may-trigger-miscarriage . The most relevant quote from the article is: "Excess vitamin C during the first month of pregnancy could suppress the production of progesterone which is responsible for a miscarriage in women."

Of course, my friends and family have been telling me that I didn't do anything wrong, and the vitamin C had nothing to do with it. I told my sister I took about 5,000 mg (plus there was more in the Visalus shakes and Vitamin D supplements I took, so it may have been closer to 6,000 mg). And I was eating LOTS of citrus fruits, and also drinking orange juice at the time. I only took the large dose on one day - the day before my ultrasound. My sister, trying to console me, told me I would have needed to take Vitamin C much longer than one day, in order to cause an abortion... but I will always have my doubts.

Until I took the Vitamin C, everything seemed to be progressing normally. I was feeling the normal signs of pregnancy, including fatigue, slight nausea (just a sick-in-general feeling), even super-oily hair. My progesterone levels at the 7 week mark were at a pretty normal 114,000. I had really bad diarrhea, which I later found out was from my body's reaction to the increased levels of progesterone. I had diarrhea every day, for 3 weeks - from January 25th, to February 16th, the day I took the extra Vitamin C.

On that same day I took the Vitamin C supplements, 2/16, I had really bad diahrrea and gas. I mean, it was bad. I kept having to go to the bathroom, and advised a friend of mine, who went with me to a workshop that day, that she better not walk downwind of me. I am guessing that the extra bad diarrhea was caused by the Vitamin C (which is known to cause diarrhea in some people). 

But the next day, there was nothing. It was the first day in three weeks that I'd woken up without diarrhea. It was like the day after a tornado. This happened to be the same day I went in for my very first ultrasound at Planned Parenthood, and the doctor had to break the news to me that she couldn't find a heartbeat. I was devastated. The photos of the baby looked just as an embryo should, for a baby that was at the 7 week mark. And it was right where it should be - in my uterus, and not in one of my fallopian tubes (as I had been worried about, thinking it could be an ectopic pregnancy). So it was pretty devastating that neither the ultrasound technician, nor the doctor who came in after her, could find a heartbeat. They did two separate tests, and neither of them were able to find a heartbeat.

I wanted to do this post to share with other women, the dangers of taking too much of any supplement (but especially vitamin C) during pregnancy.

It's true, I realize the vitamin C may have had nothing to do with the lack of a heartbeat. I have a friend who is about the same age as me (just 1 year younger) who miscarried at the 7 week mark, too (without OD'ing on Vitamin C). But the fact is, I will never know... and I would give just about anything to go back in time and NOT have taken that extra Vitamin C. The fact that my diarrhea ceased, the day after I took the supplements is just too coincidental for me to be able to completely put it out of my mind, so I will always wonder, in the back of my head... could I have prevented this? Maybe it was just too much diarrhea for my body to handle, since I already had it during my pregnancy.

I will concede, there are two things that make me think, well maybe the lack-of-a-heartbeat might not have been caused by vitamin C, and maybe it was just an unpreventable miscarriage.

The first thing is that I was getting my energy level back. On the same day I took the vitamin C, BEFORE I took the Vitamin C, I commented to my husband that I felt like I had a little more energy that day (and the day before), than I did the week before. So who knows, maybe this meant my pregnancy was already on the decline. But my rise in energy could have also been because the weather was improving. The sky was just starting to get sunny and flowers were starting to bloom in my yard (this kind of thing has a huge impact on my mood). I am one of those people who tends to get really depressed during the cold winter months, but I tend to feel fantastic when it's sunny.

The second thing is, when I first started taking my temperature, when I found out I was pregnant, I didn't see a "rise" in my temperature. I think it was on the low side. And from what I read on the net, I thought you were supposed to have a higher temperature. I did feel like I had a higher temperature, because I was hot at night. But the thermometer, for whatever reason, did not reflect this.

I guess the bottom line is, I will never know if I caused the termination of my own pregnancy.

On February 23rd, I did a second HCG level test, and it turned out to be 84,000 - consistent with an impending miscarriage.

The thing that kills me is, I feel like I have been very safe and cautious during this pregnancy. I eliminated caffeine almost entirely - even stopped drinking Neuro, as i didn't want to have any caffeine in my system at all (and for me, life without caffeine is NOT EASY!!!). I forced myself to drink extra water and healthy shakes, and eat more salad. I stopped taking Visalus supplements and switched immediately to prenatal vitamins (since the "antioxidant / anti-aging" vitamins in the Visalus pack are not recommended for pregnant women). Though I did continue with the shakes (they're great in my 9-grain cereal!).

One of my girl friends, who had a miscarriage at age 35 (but then went on to have a very healthy, beautiful baby at age 37) told me not to blame myself. She said that after her first miscarriage, she couldn't help but wonder if she had caused it somehow. Although she also felt she was being very careful during her pregnancy, she couldn't help but wonder.... was it from the time she took cold medication? Or was it from the time she drank hibiscus tea? Or from that day she didn't drink enough water?

She reminded me that everything happens for a reason. The fact is, we will never have an answer. All we can do is move forward, and keep doing our best, to the extent that we know how.

My husband I are planning to try again, and this time I am hoping we will be even more prepared. I had a discussion with him and we are planning to take extra supplements, in addition to Visalus, to improve our chances of having "good eggs and sperm" even more (why does "good eggs and sperm sound like a Dr. Seuss book?). In future posts, i will write some more about some of the research that has been proven to show the beneficial effects of certain supplements (like CoEnzyme Q10 and pycnogenol) on sperm and egg quality.

If you'd like to read a study I just saw on how to improve egg health with CoEnzyme Q10, just click here:

http://www.fertilityauthority.com/articles/coenzyme-q10-fertility-energy-older-eggs-and-sperm

I'm going to focus on two things before trying to conceive again. Not that I'm going to go back on birth control, but I'm not going to take FertilPlus again until I am in a better (more PREPARED) place! And that means:

1) Getting a steady day job. I was under a huge amount of stress once I found out I was pregnant, because I wasn't working full time and didn't have health insurance. The amount of time I spent, looking up ways to get health coverage, was just killing me. So I'd like to be at least a little more prepared for a second pregnancy, God willing.

2) As long as I'm going to wait a little while, I figure I might as well do whatever I can to improve my egg health, and encourage my hubby to improve his sperm health, by taking CoEnzyme Q10 supplements. I thought it was really promising to read that a woman's egg health could be improved by taking the supplements, so I am going to do what I can to give my baby the best shot I can at being healthy!

Will keep you posted on my progress....